The Roller Coaster

Well, since we have 8 more days of waiting, let me tell you a little bit about my journey thus far.

Prior to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I went through a short period of what I like to refer to as "crazy". You see, I am a control freak and I have never been overly emotional. I rarely cry and never in front of anybody for fear that I might show (gasp) weakness! I am one of those fortunate women that have never experienced PMS and have never known what it is like to be "hormonal". Wait, don't hate me just yet....you haven't heard the punchline yet. (I am determined that this is all some twisted joke of the cosmos).

All of a sudden, out of the blue, I was exhausted all the time. I could hardly keep my eyes open at work, and when I got home, all I did was sleep. On top of that, (according to certain sources that will remain unnamed this early in my blogging career) I was very irritable and mean to friends, family and co-workers. Of course, this was pointed out to me very gently (probably for fear of incurring my wrath) and then the floodgates opened. I’m talking the most dramatic pity party EVER! One minute I would be snapping at my husband over something trivial, and the next minute I would be crying my eyes out because I just knew that he was going to leave me because I was such a horrible person.

At this point, all I knew was that I had a lump in the front of my neck. I had no idea that My Goiter was responsible for this emotional roller coaster ride from hell.

Needless to say, once I got diagnosed and got my thyroid levels balanced, the “crazy” went away. I feel much better, my energy levels are up and I am back to the kind, loving person (according to sources) that existed before My Goiter took control. (Speaking of control freaks!)

Anyway, my point is this…..I’m not so scared of the surgery as I am of the “crazy”. I don’t want to go back to that horrible place where I have no control over my emotions and I certainly don’t want to put my family through another dose of “Crazy Jenn”. Is this surgery going to throw my hormones back into the spin cycle? Oh Doc, why did you have to reschedule? I have so many questions….

Eight more days………